The mother has monopoly over our love, because she was the one who taught us the Official Family tree shirt. This bond is bigger than us, and it has the capacity to easily overwhelm us, leaving us feeling helpless and despairing. In truth, it is not your mother per se who has the power, it is the bond which she possesses over you. Having understood this, you need to set a goal, or rather, a lighthouse in which to move towards. That lighthouse involves you separating the person from the bond, the human from the mother archetype.
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Your mother is verbally abusive because she knows that by shaming Official Family tree shirt, destroying your self-esteem and making you feel guilty, she can keep you malleable and controllable. She does this because she is terrified of losing control over you. She has been possessed by trauma and is a victim of her past. Without her role as ‘your mother’, she is forced to deal with the harsh reality of what’s inside her. When all is said and done, the greatest reward for enduring through the process of individuating and breaking from the mother bond is that you will look in the mirror and see that you are no longer that wounded child, you are an empowered, capable adult with unimaginable strength, born into an environment of inherited trauma.